What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
12.06.2025 09:26

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
TEXT:
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Why am I so tired of seeing homeless people all over the place?
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Make Nazis afraid again!
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Why would Joseph Smith say that polygamy was God's law?
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Why do so many people like life?
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
How do you get a girl to like you?
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Do many women shave their vaginas?
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
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“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”